Dealing with anxiety

What a hard task! I have been pacing around the house these days anxious about everything.

I worry about schools reopening or not opening, I worry about money that it's not enough, I worry about staying home or going outside to get essentials.

I am just going through the motions. In the morning I worry about not doing housework, I worry about having autoimmune flares because of my anxiety. I worry about not tithing because I don't make money during this lockdown, I worry about eating too much carbs then I think what if I will be out of food in the next few weeks and I have stopped eating my precious carbs.

Being uncertain in this pandemic is getting to me. I was going to the bathroom at midnight the other day and on my way there (because it's a long way) I went to the fridge and thought no maan I am not hungry, then I had a spoon of my leftovers, yes they were very cold.

I continued with my long journey and eventually I went to bed. I logged in on Twitter and saw the trends, to my horror the numbers of Covid-19 were up. I sat up and started my worry routine again.

I got so worried about my parents who are 600km away from me. I am so not good at embracing uncertainty.

It worries me when I try to embrace it because I feel like I am accepting that things will not change soon.

I told myself that God is in control and then I asked Him 'Lord are you in control?' then I got worried that I maybe doubting God.

I pray that you will be okay out there as we all try to figure out how to embrace being uncertain every day.

I wish we could feel okay about being in bed the whole day, nobody will judge us because we won't have visitors anyway. Let's embrace this uncertainty. Bless you all. - Avuyile Mngxitama-Diko #rookielifecoach